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Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/12/19 in all areas

  1. 6 points
    New art, this time, something different... Babby Rsik!
  2. 5 points
    I can't speak for the entire community of IPC players, but myself personally and those I have chit chatted with about the current state of IPCs is that the people who 'main' IPC characters do not want their immunities or vulnerabilities tweaked. EMPs are an entirely different bag but that's a topic for another time. What IPC players want is the 'Easy to damage, Easy to repair' philosophy to be true. It currently is not since IPCs require the most outside/second person help to repair what any other species might consider a minor injury. Having to run to robotics for 5-20 minutes of surgery and topping off on oil multiple times per hour is not easy to repair, especially if the roboticist doesn't know or doesn't care to work on anything but their mechs and borgs. Allowing them to quick disconnect limbs (or even their head) to make repairs themselves is something that might be desirable. Becoming space proof tincans is not. To some it makes sense that an IPC would survive in space without much problem, to others it does not. Me personally, I consider them air cooled so taking damage in space makes sense to me, take away the atmosphere and all that heat has to go somewhere. TL;DR: 'Easy to Fix, Easy to Repair' is a Myth in the current build. Making IPCs space proof or rolling back damage they take isn't what people want. Giving IPCs a viable route to repair themselves on par with MedChem and Virology heal viruses is what players want.
  3. 5 points
    So in case anyone has noticed, I haven't been around lately. I generally don't talk about irl stuff or my personal life, but I feel like I should say something instead of just disappearing. I finished studying for my A+ and I have a new job on an IT help desk. It's higher paying than my old position I was laid off from, and has a lot more opportunity for advancement. They're offering access to cbt nuggets and to pay for testing when I eventually go for my Network+ cert. However, while I am in training I have hours that require I endure a 2 hour plus commute each way, which means I've been putting in over 12 hours a day between actual work and the commute. I basically have about two and half hours of free time in the evenings to do anything I need to do, including cooking and eating dinner. Once I'm out of training, I'm going to be on a later shift where I avoid most of the traffic and cut the commute down by more than half. I'll be less tired once I'm acclimated to my new schedule as well and there may be some opportunity for work at home shifts in the future. I'll try to pop in here and there when I can. Good luck on your spess adventures in the meantime.
  4. 4 points
    A commission for Danni, here we have Lazz gifting Slade a sword she made. Slade thinks it's great, and will put it on the fridge.
  5. 3 points
    Smol art spam time! Liznerds Our one and only awooing Terry The lovely Umbra
  6. 3 points
    Dayana Shaffer! Very good slimeperson. My first round as HoS was eventful, but I managed to hold it together... That is until I had a troublesome Doctor asking if I wanted to get any implants. Well, obviously I wanted to try out those neat new Non-drop and rebooter things, but I was suspicious. We had no brig doc. So, I decided I'd get a PAI to watch over me. Great idea. (Not great) So, I get my implants and go to get some surgery. Apparently I got an extra implant free of charge. That PAI didn't... help much... She said these words as I got back up, missing that green flashy 'Mindsheild' of mine. So my first round of HoS was also my first round being Mindslaved. Go figure. Fantastic work by Day though, she managed to play me like a damn fiddle, and I helped her win by calling the warden in and watching as she gunned them down in cold, slimy, blood. *squish (She also mind-slaved me again like one round later to the tune of Rock the Casbar. Apparently I'm that easy.)
  7. 3 points
    So yeah, I made maps of all the station's Cabling, piping, and disposals. As of now I added them to the page 'Maintenance' and replaced the redirect to Locations with a 'see also:'. https://nanotrasen.se/wiki/index.php/Maintenance Would making these maps publicly available be a detriment to the game? I am sure we'll see more creative ways of sabotage with them known and easily accessible. Maybe only link to it from the engineers tab??? So do we even want them on the wiki? Otherwise I might just make a post here and call it there. But that is also a better question I have; Where and how should they be integrated into the wiki if doing so is alright? I think probably the engineers/atmospherics pages, then also possibly antags? Also tell me if you think they could be improved in any way, Thanks.
  8. 3 points
    A commission fro Taac of their Kidan
  9. 2 points
  10. 2 points
    Im from finland the land of snow and...its pretty much like Canada but with more snow and a unspeakable language
  11. 2 points
    Dayana is awesome. I'm contested between staying vulp and slime.
  12. 2 points
    "Uhh, security? I think we're going to need a little more than a taser." My part of an art trade with @Drakeven ! To see her part of the trade, head over here: https://nanotrasen.se/forum/topic/16113-drake-arts-drakes-art/?do=findComment&comment=130796
  13. 2 points
    Have a slight redesign of one of my roboboys named Horjin. (part of the redesign i had in mind from a friend i talked to about em they make REALLY good art.)
  14. 2 points
    Are you happy, Citizen?
  15. 2 points
    More of my cute Alternate Universe setting!
  16. 1 point
    So uh I draw sometimes? Not nearly as much as I used to, but occasionally, I come out with something I like. Lately, my interest has been spess-related art-- mostly IPCs, but I have other stuff in the WIP pile. IPCs L-U-M-I and S.A.M., or alternatively, when you both get spaced and only pinging at each other is what keeps you both awake in the endless void: (gif) L-U-M-I; I wanted to play with his monitor style (gif) LUMI? (spooky plot stuff regarding the blue monitor) again. Quick doodle, my tablet was being a butts LUMI's humanoid chassis, Lumi Liebhardt. Mechanic LUMI in spaaaaace (gif) A quick, messy doodle of one of my other IPCs, D.I.T.T.Y, in a fancy outfit, which turned out cute. wrong head accessory though
  17. 1 point
    Tobehonest, I've never thought about using the brushes as something other than clouds.
  18. 1 point
    The cloud brushes is godsend
  19. 1 point
    You shouldn't. It's... beautiful (I think we use the same cloud brushes) (ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵏᶦˡˡ ˡᵃ ᵏᶦˡˡ)
  20. 1 point
    Tit for tat. Ruin a player's round by grabbing early, get shit on and have the same happen to you.
  21. 1 point
    Ahhh I love this! My poor girl! She tries her hardest :'D amazing work with the hair!
  22. 1 point
    Gosh, there's so many amazing artists here, I thought I'd plonk down my work too. As you can see by my profile picture I've doodled my girl, Jay. (Jay 'Justine' Chase, I went with 'Justine Case' first, but then I realised having a pun for a name is a bad trait for a long term character... And everyone kept mistaking her for a guy.) She's a smilie human who's a bit bland, but tries her best. I really like starting items, and after a few tries, I found that the flat cap and the old scarf I realised that they fit together quite well. If I wrote a backstory for her it would probably come from one of her parents. Anyhow, I hope you like it! I hope to be posting a lot more art here, this is a very good game to draw, so many different characters and shenanigans... If you ever find Jay in game, if we happen to have a fun exchange just give me a message, I might as well draw up your character hanging out with her! I hope you all like it anyhow, I'm hoping to improve as time goes on.
  23. 1 point
    Reminds me of the time i managed to mindslave the most gulllible person on Bay.... Hueh
  24. 1 point
    A system sort of like baystation where theres a chance to have a derelict like a crashed survival pod or another ship in the sector, instead the gateway has a chance to be inhabited. A few ideas I have - Research Outpost(No Tspiders) - RD, scientists, barkeep, chef, miner (or just RD, scientist, miner) Research Outpost(Tspiders) - Same as above, maybe different changes in gear. Xenomorph Gateway - Syndicate agents, security guard, engineer, barkeep, scientists, possible DS (but perhaps with just the armour) Wild West - Survivors(the ones "in the vault", could be spread across the map), Syndicate agents
  25. 1 point
    Thought id throw a suggestion in the ring regarding scheduling events on paradise. For example: nations, you see a lot of people asking in ooc for nations. So to please these people you could say, ok at time X on X day there will be a nations round, and post that on the discord. This would also work for rounds such as extended, highlander, supernova, etc. (P.s while im here ill also throw in a new station goal for constructed, finish the construction site, have a navy officer played by an admin inspect it at the end of the shift and give it a pass or fail)
  26. 1 point
    Well I finally thought it's about time I actually use the forum! Ive been playing for about... 5-6 months give or take. This is my first actual experience with any kind of forum, so please excuse me if I don't take full advantage of features, or otherwise make mistakes! My main (And only) Character is Srusu Rskuzu! You've probably seen them around at some point! I look forward to being active here!
  27. 1 point
    Maintenance map is good. Kugamo is good.
  28. 1 point
    New art that just got finished. Sleepy Rsik. Cute!
  29. 1 point
    This is great! Thanks to Lumi (who plays Kikeri) for drawing this especially since I wasn't expecting it! It's awesome and complements the artwork really well. Love it!
  30. 1 point
    While I get that Ian dying sucks, he isn't even the "highest ranking" pet on the station. Additionally, our lore even points out that Ian is a clone who is restored every shift as needed, the real Ian died a while back. Thus, I get it but there is no foundation for it.
  31. 1 point
    That sounds like something an Ian killer would say.
  32. 1 point
    I feel called out.
  33. 1 point
  34. 1 point
    Adoooorable, thank you!! It was a memorable round and I'm happy you immortalised it!
  35. 1 point
    Kikeri!!! FOOOR @gangelwaefre ... I just realized I can tag people. That's neat! Anyway, I've had a ton of nice interactions with Kikeri, she's a real nice character and her actions are so... descriptive, I suppose. Cute. This is a moment I had with her while we were building a BSA (that we couldn't test-fire before the shuttle launch because of that TROUBLESOME CE ) and then I accidentally threw myself into space. Kikeri showed me how to save myself, by throwing things, and then when I got back I see her wandering around in space around the BSA. Vox. With their pressure-suit skin and everything... Gosh, they're neat. It's going to be hard to decide between Vox and Slimepeople when I do try and get a race... Vox are real cute, but also, *squish
  36. 1 point
    It's only mutiny if it's Captain Ian.
  37. 1 point
    Killing Ian should be Grand Sabotage or Mutiny.
  38. 1 point
    I'll preface this saying I am against IPCs getting space proof, but just want to point out IPCs are in a bad place balance wise, and have been for sometime. But hey were still waiting on vulps to be balanced since colorblind was decoupled from darksight. The major difference between organic broken bones and IPC malfunctioning limb is that an organic can heal the damage to the limb once it's broken, an IPC can not. The threshold for dropping items is very low on IPCs (I've dropped items with only 5 brute on an arm while mining plenty of times) so they are hit with the penalties sooner. If a human takes 30 damage to their arm, breaking it preventing it's use, they can still use healing items on themself to remove the damage and splint it if surgery isn't an option. An IPC on the other hand will break a limb and be stuck with that damage, unable to repair it. They can't splint it and because they can't self repair internal damage they are stuck with that damage, and thus closer to critical/death. As for nanopaste, it repairing internals without surgery must be new, since I've made attempts to use it in the past to rapidly repair IPCs and borgs and ultimately found it not doing the job. That and nanopaste has a relatively high metal cost that science will rarely print it for anything other than MedSurgery to use to repair implants. I'll have to test that but I'm not holding my breathe. Cyborg chargers definitely do not repair internal damage. If the limb is broken the charger won't fix it, I've shoved IPCs in chargers before and it only repaired topical damage I could have repaired with my own wire and welder, the limbs stayed broke. And this is over the caveat that the vast majority of science players do not upgrade chargers, if ever. I've seen more drones upgrade chargers than scientists, and they have to drag each component one by one to accomplish that.
  39. 1 point
    Hi everyone, I recognize it was probably a bit improper to leave without so much as a bye. I've had a lot of fun over the five or six years I've spent here. I've spent a lot of hours frittering away on projects (wiki out of date ree) and spent even more time just shooting the shit with members of the community (including staff!). It's been a pleasure having the opportunity to work/play with all of you and I wish you all the best going forward. It's my hope that someone will eventually take up the reins for the wiki (most of the hard work is done!) and that the community continues to be the warm, glowing, and sometimes stressed out and shouty place it's always been. Paradise is a project that I've easily sunk several thousand hours into, so I hope and look forward to all the best things in the future for both the server and the people who elect to continue playing/volunteering here. I have tremendous regard for the community here and I know that you'll all continue to diligently work, play, and contribute to making Paradise the server that it is. Godspeed, Cyberiad. - Shadeykins (brb absorbing people in the morgue)
  40. 1 point
    Even kings can't face that level of burn out. Rest well sweet prince. I'll ping you some other time. There's not a person who's played that hasn't come to know one of your pieces of content, be they aware or not. You have been, truly, a great credit to this place.
  41. 1 point
    In my opinion I love the admin's care for it and the community. There's lots of great people to meet and its very engaging. I very much dislike security and people who dont follow SOP or guidelines. Security literally almost arrested me for "attempted theft" even though being told by others it isn't a crime to attempt at theft but to succeed is. Honestly if there was one thing I would change about para is people's desire to RP. Most people will just scream "TRAITOR" or go run to security. Its much nicer with RP as it adds more feel and immersion to the game. Basically my opinion is: I love paradise. It has its flaws but it is extremely fun and theres plenty to do. I enjoy my time here and wouldn't prefer most other servers over paradise. Nothing can replace the people I've met. List of those that I find cool Meex Z-something: She's good at her job and seePLEms to take care of her duties seriously. Aaron Whelen: He's a nice guy and makes a great HoP. Kitty Vast: Honestly she just seems interesting. I dont know what is so interesting about her always having someone drag her around or laying in front of the bridge though. Hoff: He is a kind warden and one of the few people who has shown a care for his prisoners. Its nice to have someone like this on a security team full of harmbaton users. Theres more but I cant remember everyone. Thanks for the experience everyone! Remember: the clown is a very important role and should be treated as you would a member of command!
  42. 1 point
    I've had this idea brewing for a while now and I figured it's finally time to put it on paper. The idea was spawned from the thought that IPCs should have some way of being ever so slightly more resilient (Controversial I know) and my initial thought was essentially like a healing virus, it's still essentially that but more fleshed out. "A micro repair nanite factory capable of repairing both organic and synthetic damage" Stats: Heals Brute and Burn damage equivalent to the same speed of toxic comp with no downside however this applies only in synthetics, when implanted in organics it heals at 50% of that speed with no Toxin damage buildup, it also reduces the amount of bleeding caused by IB and is capable of fully repairing internal component leaks in synthetics given enough time. Requirements: Bio 7 (Due to the potential power of this implant) This implant is obviously heavily favored towards IPCs but it still has use for organic crew (also considering toxic comp is unusable in its current state) as a safe way for minor health regen. I'm not an expert of balance so this is open for change.
  43. 1 point
    Tajaran? Face first clawing anything remotely suspect. IPC? Died five minutes ago to.... Do I even need to say it? Human? Already committed B&E five times and is in perma, somehow. Unathi? Won't fucking die, on Para or Bay, those bastards SUCK UP BULLETS LIKE CANDY, especially on Bay. Plasmamen? He got cold and took off his helmet- Vox? Stuck in malpractice Bay with a stubbed toe, yet is in surgery. Diona? They haven't even reached their workplace yet. Vulpkanin?.... .... Probably doing their job or rping in the bar, the weirdos-
  44. 1 point
    About Antag Tokens: Antag tokens are given out by admins, at their discretion. Typically, they are only given out to antags who have their antag round ruined by an admin's mistake, such as if an admin accidentally crashes the server. You are never entitled to an antag token. If you want to know if you have any antag tokens, ahelp and ask. There is no other way for you to check if you have one. If you have an antag token, you can ahelp "''I would like to use my antag token to become an X''" (where X is "changeling", "traitor" or "vampire") at the start of the round, to become that type of antag. You cannot use antag tokens to become any other type of antag not listed above. You cannot use the same token more than once. Even if you die 20 seconds after using the token. You cannot use antag tokens if you are playing a job that is typically mindshielded, like Captain or Security. Admins may deny your request to use an antag token in any certain round. When this happens, it is probably because there are too many (or too powerful) antags already in the round. It can also be because you waited too long into the round to try to use the token. If this happens, your antag token is NOT used up, and you can try using it again in a future round.
  45. 1 point
    When you have far too much time and too little sanity at the construction outpost
  46. 1 point
    I never actually put the newest one of the Captain up here. (well newest given i haven't made a new one but its close enough.) So uh..have this one.
  47. 1 point
    THE MOST EPIC SS13 FANFICTION IN HUMAN HISTORY: SLITH X MOI A GAME OF CHECKERS It the was the morning of november 25 in the year of whatever the fuck slith the lizard goy was going to visit his beloved slime gf moi for an epic game of checkers. slith knocked on mois door and said Slith: OOOH MOI OOOH MOI YOU IN THERE I GOT THE FUCKING 40'S. Moi:Y-Yeah sweety c-comin... Moi opened the fuckin door and invited slith in for a le epic gaym of checkers and i couldnt think of the rest of this feel free to write your own shitty fucking story to continue on fromFUCK ^ This is what happens when someone mentorhelps for ideas for a book and Pretzel answers. slith x moi; a game of checkers
  48. 1 point
    Xray vision has been a pretty controversial topic. Many of us have stories about when it has screwed us over and ended our round pre-maturely. Here is a story of a unique problem I had with Xray… I am the Blueshield. I slide a cig out of my pack of Robusts and fire one up. I grab my gear and take a peek at the manifest to see who I’m keeping an eye on this shift. The captain is Gerhard Van Lutz. Been a long time since I’ve worked with Gerhard…haven’t seen him much since the accident that changed him from a human to a vulp. This will be interesting…I think to myself. I head to the bridge. As I enter I see a male vulp partially hidden by the chair he is occupying in front of the crew monitor terminal. I say “Sup bos---ohhh you aren’t the captain.” Stupid me…mistaking one vulp for another. This particular specimen happened to be the NT Rep, Wolf O’Shaw. How could I NOT notice it was him? He’s not wearing a shirt, I mean…he NEVER wears a shirt…and those muscles….oh my…get it together Tet... He grins and says “Nah, I’m the more handsome one” Such ARROGANCE but…well…who am I kidding… Flustered, I stammer “You all look magnificent to me…” as I look away shyly. YOU ALL LOOK MAGNIFICENT TO ME? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? STUPID! GET IT TOGETHER! Seemingly unphased by my blunder he reinforces his previous statement saying “But I’m better” as the captain emerges from his quarters. We exchange salutes and he greets me with a familiar “Hello there, madam” He’s always been so proper…so much less brash than Wolf. I’ve mostly only worked with him back when he was human…he’s…well he’s different now… FOCUS!! I shake away my thoughts. Over comms we are hearing confirmations of a cult. So soon? I haven’t even finished my first cig yet. This reminds me, the one I’m currently working on has lost its flavor, so I stomp it out on the floor and swap it out for a new one. Confirmed cult and I am stuck on the bridge babysitting these two? Lucky me! NO! BE PROFFESSIONAL! This is gonna be a looong shift…I should take a walk to get my mind off things. I inform the two of my intentions and begin hunting down the rest of command to implant them, as well as gather supplies from Security. Now that I’m fully geared up I start making my way back to the bridge. What is that GODAWFUL sound I hear echoing down the hallway?! The clown, Loud (yes...thats his name) is standing in front of the bridge, playing as many instruments as they can at once, as awful as they possibly can. The noise was disabling. I swiftly draw my revolver from its holster and silence the noise with one golden bolt. The NT Rep and captain both protest my action over comms. I plainly respond “I had to end the noise” Wolf counters “I’ll end your noise in a minute” I continue with “It was dangerous to your ears.” I glide past the still convulsing clown heading towards the locker room. At the beginning of the shift Slith recommended I dye my hair blue, voicing some complaint about a Redshield. I figured I’d give it a shot. I stand in front of the mirror and use its built in RHD (Rapid Hair Dyer…kek) to change my hair to various shades of blue. AWFUL! I dye it back to its unnatural bright anime gurl red and I notify Slith that the blue hair is a no-go and head back to the bridge. The clown is gone now. No more noise. “See?” I say “Threat neutralized.” Gerhard questions “The clown?” “Yea…notice how your ears don’t hurt anymore? Your welcome.” Wolf grumbles “You are making my ears hurt” Gerhard says “As I was just saying to the NT rep…I am pretty sure that ‘song’ will keep anyone away, cultist or not…” We enjoy a moment or two of peace until… Gerhard groans “There it is again!” as he retreats to the conference room. Wolf leans back in his chair and sighs. I screech “Oh—god—its—AWFUL!” as cover my ears. Through the now muffled noise I hears a report of someone being attacked on security comms. Annoyed I respond “My EARS are under attack by the CLOWN!” Gerhard returns holding an unopened pack of Robusts and morbidly says "I think I need an additional pack today..." I perk up and exclaim "Aha! Cheers!" as I rattle the last cigarette out of my first pack. I swiftly swap out the old with the new as I adjust my vision in Wolf's direction. My eyes widen as I watch him pull a cigarette out of his pack of Uplifts with his fangs. My mechanical heart begins to overclock as I am filled with uneasiness. Oh dear… I stammer "Oh my...I need to uh...get some stuff from Medbay..." I quickly rush off while keeping my eyes fixed to the floor in front of me. I don’t NEED anything from Medbay but...I needed a change of scenery... Be careful what you wish for. As I stand in front of the Nanomed stuffing the basics into my bag, the geneticist, Val Ragnar waves me in his direction. Val offers “Xray?” I reluctantly say “Eh…sure…though it always makes me a bit queasy…” He preps the syringe and injects me. “GAH!” I blink rapidly as my vision alters “I’ll never get used to that” Not even sure why I agreed to this…but…whatever…can’t hurt…right? I receive a non-supportive “Walk it off weakling!” from Val as I rub my eyes and return to the bridge. The captain and NT rep are chatting in some language I don’t understand as I come into their view. Oh god… I stiffen. I stammer “Oh my…this xray vision may not have been the best choice…” I begin to sweat as I try to process what I am seeing. Gerhard appears to be too focused on comms to notice. Wolf barks “Stop staring” I dart my eyes around the room looking for some recluse. “I’ll be uhhh” I barely manage to choke out as I quickly move over to the crew monitor console and bury my face in it. Gerhard finishes what he was doing on comms and says “wait a second...did you...do you...are you able to see through clothing Tetra?” He DID notice! CRAP! Trying to hide how my emotions, I laugh out nervously “NOPE! JUST…WALLS…” Wolf prods “Why are you blushing?” What the hell have I gotten myself INTO!? Gerhard raises and eyebrow and questions “Just walls?” “YUP!” I lie again. Wolf retorts “You’re blushing more red…you are filth” as he blows a large cloud of smoke and rolls his eyes. I can’t help but glance over at Gerhard, then quickly dart my eyes back to the console in front of me. You aren’t fooling anyone. They KNOW! With a resigned tone I pointlessly repeat “Just….walls.…” Gerhard coughs “Aha…ehm…yes…surely…just walls.” Wolf laughs to himself and then begins another conversation with Gerhard in the unknown language. What are they talking about? Are they talking about me? I'd kill to know what they are saying! To add to my annoyance, there is a Medibot in front of the bridge that is repeatedly announcing that I require attention. My readings are probably a bit off due to the alteration. I frown. “This medibot aint gonna shut up” I state angrily as I exit the bridge to seek its treatment. As I walk back onto the bridge Wolf and Gerhard continue their conversation. Wolf has an amused look on his face and Gerhard appears worried. My face contorts as I weakly leak out a “Ehm…” Gerhard echos “Ehm…anyways...” Wolf instructs “Stop. Staring.” My shoulders sink as I slink over to the crew monitor once more. Looking for a distraction himself, Gerhard says “Right…new cigs…that’s what I wanted to do…” and he walks into his quarters. “You’re lewd” Wolf accuses. I offer no argument but glance over at him and quickly look away again. Wolf says “I’m not covering myself up for your benefit” Chewing on my cigarette I grumble “I don’t think it’ll help” Gerhard chimes in as he returns to the room “Help with what?” Frustrated, I stand and point accusingly at both of them “I TOLD YOU BOTH! JUST---WALLS!” as I cross my arms, scoff, and turn away. Wolf heckles “You keep blushing, I wasn’t born yesterday” Why am I even bothering to attempt this charade…this is the WORST! There is an uncomfortable silence for a moment, broken by Gerhard barking “God damnit!” I become alert and raise an eyebrow as I turn towards him “Hmmm?” He gestures around the room “I need a janitor stationed right here for the whole shift!” he angrily scurries around the room picking up the cigarette butts that have accumulated. Sorry boss I DIDN’T NOTICE. I’ve been DISTRACTED! Is THIS his idea of trying to change the subject?! Does he think this HELPS?! I frown and take a long drag to finish off my current cig. Wolf scratches the back of his neck and grins. As he finishes cleaning up the mess Gerhard exclaims “This was one of my main duties so far! Collecting trash in the bridge!” followed by a sarcastic clap. “Fucking glorious!” I defiantly throw my first empty pack on a table as Gerhard finishes depositing the mess in his quarters and returns. Sadly he doesn't notice. As I light up the first cig from my freshly opened pack, I glance back and forth between the two of them scanning them up and down. Less flustered than I initially was, I’m now filled with a bit of excitement. I could get used to this… The thought is fleeting as Wolf interrupts “Tetra?” Innocently I say “Hmmmm?” “Who’s bigger?” he mocks with a wicked grin. I turn pale as I once again stiffen and weakly chirp “I….” Wait…did he just…? What…WHAT?!? I quickly retreat to the corner of the room and gasp out “OH MY GOD!” while covering my face. “What?” he chuckles innocently “I was just talking about our muscles” as he flexes. While I try to hide my embarrassment, they continue chatting in their unknown language while laughing and chuckling. This is a disaster… The cigarette I’ve been working on has yet again lost its flavor. There is not enough nicotine in the GALAXY to deal with this shit! As I shakily remove another cigarette from the pack I hear Gerhard reverts back to speaking a language I understand again “How many are left madam?” What?! Is this another attempt to diffuse the situation? I respond “Oh um…there’s…I’m on my second pack…” He exclaims “Really?! Impressive!” I quietly respond “They lose flavor quickly…and I’m KINDA stressed this shift” as I turn my attention to the greytide standing out front the bridge. THIS is a welcome distraction. A muffled voice comes through his gas mask “Open please” Very firmly Wolf says “You aren’t boarding a restricted area” Time to take out some frustration on this baldie. “What a lovely gas mask you have!” I say cheerily while clapping my hands together. I grin and change to a low mocking tone “All the cool kids wear those, don’t they?” He scurries off without another word. Skittish little shit. I turn my attention back towards the Wolf’s grinning face and he sarcastically asks “Stress? But Agent Vega, you have Gerhard and I here? You think it would be the opposite.” I glare at him and then quickly turn my back to him as he flexes again. I take a deep breath. He is enjoying this WAY too much! Maybe I’m enjoying it way too much… DO! YOUR! JOB! I get a bit lost in my thoughts as the familiar sounds of an unfamiliar language and laughter come from behind me. A familiar face returns to the front of the bridge. More accurately a familiar mask. The clown, Loud, living up to his name, loudly announces “WITNESS ME!” With a sigh of relief I say “Please, clown, I will welcome ANY distraction right now.” I hear Wolf’s voice increasingly unwelcome voice behind me “Agent Vega, you are in the gun show, there are no time for distractions.” There is a pause followed by a hearty “Ka-paw!” I catch a glimpse of Wolf’s reflection in the glass in front of the bridge. HE IS FLEXING AND POSING?!?! I gasp “MY GOD! I’M GOING TO GENETICS! RIGHT NOW!” Wolf victoriously states “You’re welcome” as I run past him towards Medbay. I frantically bang on the window for genetics while trying to catch my breath “I NEED….CLEAN…SE…SO…BADLY!” What appears to be a glowing and disfigured humanoid resembling the geneticist who bestowed this curse upon me answers the door and screams “DEAF! BORK BORK!” and points to his PDA. I pull out my PDA and frantically message my request to him, shortly after he tosses me a needle. I close my eyes, inject it in my arm, and let out a sigh of relief as my vision returns to normal. Finally this nightmare will come to an end. I return to the bridge. Gerhard is holding his cigarette in hand watching it burn off. Wolf is chewing his cigarette with an annoyed look on his face. “Say madam, would you like a new one?” Gerhard says while offering me a cig. This is much easier to digest. “I uhh…” I wave him off and light another of my own. He inquires “And let me guess, you had xray removed?” I scan both of them with my eyes, look sideways and sigh “Yes. It was---unnecessary…” This is still pretty distracting...hold it together... Wolf’s annoyed look returns to amusement “I think you did it intentionally” he grins. I frown. More unknown words and chuckling from them as I mumble to myself “I’ll never forget it…” That’s for damn sure. His ears twitch and he prods “What was that?” Attempting to maintain my innocence I lie “Hmmm? Nothing” He grins “It sounded like it wasn't nothing, but if you says so…” This son of a bitch won’t lay off! Gerhard offers “Don’t worry madam. We believe you!” followed with a clap. I clear my throat and grumble “Something new every time I work this job…” I plop down in front of the crew monitor yet again. At this point security has cleaned up most of the cult. I glance over at them and sigh “Yea…things are kinda boring now…” and quietly mumble to myself “Maybe I should have kept xray…” Gerhard says “Ohhh of course!” while waving around a cigarette butt he grabbed off the floor “Trash again!” I chuckle. At least I'm not the only one suffering discomfort this shift. Wolf nods towards me “Those were Vega’s. Wasn’t me. All Vega” Gerhard demands “Clean it up goddamnit!” I shrug and say “Yessir!” and begin to march around the bridge picking up all the trash. I deposit it in the trash can in the conference room, march back into the bridge, and stand at attention while saluting and announce “Mission complete. Sir!” That’ll show him. I hold the pose for a few seconds before I burst out laughing. Not seeming the least bit amused he points to a spot on the floor “Missed one” He groans and retreats to the conference room, but quickly returns. “You bought all of them?” he asks Me “Hmmmm?” He sighs “The Robusts.” Delighted I say “Oh you smoke Robusts too? Here, I’ll fetch some more” as I hand him an unopened pack from my bag. Wolf shakes his head and chuckles to himself. “Thank you madam” Gerhard says as I head towards the dorms to restock my supply. When I return to the bridge the Captain and NT Rep are having yet another conversation in their unknown language. I glance back and forth between them silently. Wolf squints at me “You got xray again, didn’t you?” REALLY?! Well…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it… I remorsefully respond “No…” then murmur out of the corner of my mouth “…not yet” I scan them with my eyes once more, then let out a sigh. Wolf grins “Like what you see, Vega?” With a saddened look I turn away and say “I’ll live. I’m just uhh…just remembering what it was like when I could see through walls.” I begin twirling my hair and get lost in my thoughts again. Then the Head of Personnel, Aevon Cook, enters through the conference room. He greets “ ’Sup lads, this where all the cool kids hang out?” His voice has a bit of an accent to it. I respond “Doing our best to fill the bridge with smoke.” He scorns us “Smoking ain’t cool, aight? Stop hotboxing the fuckin’ bridge.” I retort “Ohhh trust me, you don’t want to see me without my nicotine.” as I fire up a fresh cig from my newly acquired pack. Aevon says “We should probs do somethin' about that cult.” Wolf says “Thats what security is there for” I agree “Thats right. Our job is to sit here and look pretty.” Then mumble to myself “…especially the Captain and NT rep…” I don’t have xray anymore but they are still easy on the eyes… Wolfs ears twitch and he raises an eyebrow towards me, flexes, and grins. Aevon replies “They dealin' with it?” Gerhard says “Of course they are, excuse me, Blueshield?” Annoyed, Aevon sarcastically says “Sure, lemme just pull out my security headset.” Aevon SHOULD have access to security comms... Ignoring the Captain I make my way over to him “Ohh you must not have security comms switched on, here” I help him adjust his headset. “There!” Wolf and Gerhard begin another conversation in their unknown language, and then Aevon joins them. Another one…great… I roll my eyes and say “Ohhh yall have your own special language…speaking of cool kids…” Annoyed, I demand “The fuck yall sayin?” Aevon chuckles and says “They talkin’ bout how big they dicks are” Gerhard quickly objects “Excuse me?” Wolf teases “Mines bigger” Gerhard commands “That’s highly inappropriate” Aevon chuckles “See?” I stiffen. What?! WHAT?! Wolf!? Gerard?! WOLF!!!! THIS WAS WOLF DOING!!! HE STARTED THIS!!! BUT GERHARD TOO?! NO! HES NOT LIKE THI--- My face red with anger and confusion, I explode “WHAAAAT!?!” Wolf laughs and Gerhard face palms himself. Aevon adds “Fuckin’ dodgy ass captain” I continue “OH—MY—GOD!!!” Through my blind rage I fail no notice Gerhard attempting to explain that this is all a ruse. Wolf rolls with it and can barely contain himself. Aevon has a sly smirk on his face. Terry Watson suddenly appears in front of the bridge and awoos “I thought I smelled something off” “YEA!” I point at Gerhard and Wolf accusingly “ITS THESE TWO!” I scoff at them and then stomp out of the bridge. As I leave Aevon pours on “HOLY SHITE SIR HOW COULD YA SAY THAT?!” while holding back his laughter. My mind races. There’s no way…what else have they been talking about?! DISGUSTING! UGH! MEN!! This is the worst day ever! I retreat to the familiarity of the brig to find some comfort. After a few moments sitting in the brig meeting room burning through the rest of my Robusts I hear Wolf through my headset “Vega, we were just kidding. Don’t be sour.” I take a deep breath as I grab a new pack of cigs from the vending machine next to me, then nervously respond “I’m not sour about anything, just checking up on the HOS” No you aren’t. You are HIDING. Liar. Get off your ass. You have a job to do. Wolf informs me “Well…the CMO is on the bridge bleeding out” FUCK!!! I rush to the bridge to find the CMO perfectly fine. He apparently patched himself up. But there is blood everywhere. I gesture around the room while looking at Gerhard “You yelled at me for my cigs…just sayin” The AI chides off an annoyingly familiar “ASS BLAST USA” I scorn them “AI…stop talking nonsense about ancient civilizations” I swear to god it’s like NT is letting stupid teenagers program these AI’s lately… Gerhard looks at the floor with disgust. I persist “You made me clean up all my own shit. Maybe get the CMO in here with a spray bottle” I try to snap my finger but it snaps right off!! OHH GOD! THE PAIN!! I scream “OH MY GOD!!!” Gerhard winces “Tetra...thats...not healthy...maybe you can tell the CMO while having them reattach your finger..." I decide to seek treatment in the brig. I spend a few moments chatting with the brig doc about how things are going for them and complimenting their setup. Our conversation is interrupted by reports of spiderlings. Time to get back to work… I offer the brig doc a casual salute and take my leave. As I head back towards the bridge I notice the blast doors are down. I quickly unholster my revolver and press my back against the wall while scanning the room. I calmly say into comms “Why is the bridge locked down?” Gerhard replies “Noise control” and shortly after the lockdown is lifted. My posture relaxes as I holster my revolver. Must have been the fucking clown again… As I walk onto the bridge I glance around. The CMOs now dry blood on the floor. Other garbage laying around. I clap and sarcastically state “Good thing I cleaned up my cigs!” Gerhard agrees while looking around the room “Yes…this is a mess…a disgusting m---” A warning siren goes off. A radiation field is approaching. We need to retreat to maintenance. I escort the captain and NT rep to EVA maint. As we stand silently in maint waiting for the storm to pass I reflect on the craziness of this shift and whisper to myself “I can’t tell if this is one of my greatest dreams or worst nightmares” Both of their ears twitch. Freaking vulps. God I love and hate them so much at the same time. Wolf says “What was that?” Gerhard questions “Your greatest dream, madam?” I defensively say “It was nothing. I was talking to myself.” The janitor suddenly joins us. I point at him and say “HE! JANITOR!” and he zips away on his janicart. I pursue him. He cannot leave due to the radiation so I have him cornered. I request “Hey man, once this storm is over, come clean the bridge, ya?” He yells back at me “BLIND AND DEAF” I frown and walk away. I approach the NT Rep and Captain and say “WELP! I know why the station is such a goddamned mess! The JANITOR is blind AND deaf.” while clapping. We all chuckle and shake our heads while the radiation storm ends. As we return to the bridge from the shelter of maintenance, I glance at the clock. Finally, this shift is almost ov--- My thoughts are interrupted by another deafening siren. Oh god...Terror Spiders... THE SPIDERS SPREAD THRU THE STATION A DEATHSQUAD CAME IN TO PEW PEW THEN NUKE THE STATION AND EVERYONE DIED THE END!!! Special thanks to @Normalyman and @Trubus for playing their parts and anyone else who contributed to allowing this ridiculous story to become what it did. I did want to note that none of the quotes or emotes were embellished to make this more interesting. I used my evil admin powers to dig up the exact lines. It was all actually typed out and happened in the round. At times I simply added tone to the speech based on how I perceived it personally, though even the tone was sometimes typed out as well, and Tetra's THOUGHTS to add some flavor. Stories like this are why I continue to play this game.
  49. 1 point
    Heres my robo character that i've made too many iterations of since i can't quite settle on a design for him. (Then again i do that for alot of things...)
  50. 1 point
    Holy crap. Meanwhile everyone else wishes they pulled this off. Well done.
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