Accidentally Siegeing the Brig

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So, this was a long time ago, so my memories are a bit hazy. However, I CAN remember some key points. So, here we go. Get ready, people, for the strapping adventure of...

TAIGO JOHNSON, THE MASS PRODUCER OF SENTIENT ALIEMS (AKA Taigo Johnson as: That one Xenobio who really overdoes it with the sentience potions)

So. This starts off at the beginning of the round, setting up shit. Naturally, since it was my third time being Xenobio, I kept going for gold, light pink and adamantine slimes for creatures, sentience potions, and golems, respectively. 

I do all this and start making sentient beings, such as xenos and golems, mainly. We go on a joyride around the station, me, the queen, two sentinels, a drone and two golems. I had also made a Creature and a Faithless.

Long drag line, let me say. Anyways, after a few minutes we get into the bar. Here's when everything just went to shit.

We enter, the barkeep takes a good look at our gang, and I can't exactly remember what happened, but all I remember is that all of the sentient creatures just started going apeshit

Here's when things get... weird.

So, we escape with one less Faithless, one less golem and a couple less aliens. Not good. We hightail it back to Xenobio, where I begin building more sentient creatures, and plotting.

Suddenly, over the comms, I hear 'XENOBIO! GET YOUR ASS TO THE BRIG NOW!'

So, naturally, as a decent human being, I finish up what I was doing, let my aliens out, and began to walk to the brig peacefully.

I arrive above the bridge, then to the Brig, where I am passing one of my (now) two (maybe three?) remaining creations- the queen.

They scream that they want me unarrested, but the sec officer just ignores them.

And here's where things kind of happened.

So, I get stuck in processing, until I hear *WHAM WHAM WHAM* Nearby. Naturally, it was the queen breaking in with a golem and the Creature.

This is when the siege itself begins.

Oh my. What bravery.

I'm fairly surprised when she manages to rip through the doors, rip through processing, uncuff me, and start fighting, taking down a few security officers.

Now, note, at this point, I never asked for help, it just kind of came, so I wasn't breaking any rules.

I sort of stay back, half-enthusiastically telling her to stop, but also so fascinated with the sheer destruction she has caused.

Robust one, was she.

Till the mech came in.

It fucking kills her, hits me a few times, and basically leaves. While i'm getting my ass dragged to the brig medical area, I see the golem working furiously to stun whoever they could.

However, it was not enough. I was brigged, put on the shuttle, then promptly executed via laser guns at the end of the round.

Afterwards, an admin messaged me to ask what happened. I mentioned that I never really ASKED or helped with the escape, never mind touch someone with harm intent. It was let go (hopefully) and I was happy.

And that, my dear friends, believe it or not, was the story of...



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    • Now, this is a tale from the far reaches of Baystation, onboard the SEV Torch.    It had been a quiet shift, everyone was either talking or working, the poor janitor had been attempted murdered by the mime, but survived and the mime was swiftly arrested.  Everything seemed fine, except...  The mime had been a mere puppet for something far worse, a mindslave trying to fulfill his masters impossible wishes.  That master were currently loading a revolver in a dark spot.  Loaded and with spare ammo, he hid the gun in his pocket, the joys of holdout weapons, and continued towards the brig, intent on retriving his puppet.  The first officer got a single shot on him, but to no avail, the puppeters work vest deflecting the shot, soon the officer fell on the floor, clutching his wounds as he begged for mercy.  "Please! I surrender! I SURRENDER"  He begged, but the puppeter was already unloading his revolver and putting in new bullets, the pain of a non-removable magazine.  Another officer came rushing to his aid, firing his tazer but missing every shot as the puppeter evaded each shot, continuing to load his revolver.  Aware of the threat, the officer pulled his lasergun instead, took aim and fired....  BOOM He had hit a transfer valve, causing it to detonate, filling the hallway with smoke and debris, allowing the puppeter to fully load his gun in relative peace.  The puppeter took aim and nailed the officer right in the head, thankfully just a fleshwound, but enough to incapitate him.  Another officer showed up, an unathi, an angry female one armed with a big laser rifle.  The puppeter took aim and nailed her right in the head...  She stumbled, she screamed in pain, but was still standing, the bullet had lodged itself in her snout, the bleeding wound.... Healing, blood drying and clotting, new scales growing..  She took aim and fired, dropping the puppeter with a well aimed shot to the leg.      That day, Alfred learned that Bay Unathi were a tad different from Para.  He lamented his lack of knowledge as he bleed out on the floor... 
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